Langsung ke konten utama

About This Morning



14th October, 2015

Life only stop dealing with us when we stop breathing. Lift up and never quit!!

Today was a holiday. They said holiday in punctuation. I woke up like me as well and got shower and then I started to confuse. My question be like “What the hell I’m gonna doing today?” I don’t even have any rupiahs, no fuel for my vehicle and also there was no food left on fridge. Damn.

What about me and my dad? Yap, never ending story. Last night he called me up and starting to discuss something. Ehm.. I don’t know how my feel right now but it seems get better since I bravely talked to him about what really annoy me during this time. About his act and his manner. About his anger and his carelessness and that was the day when I fell down my tears. I mean we talked through phonecell.

Guess what? He came to me this morning.

He called me up and said : Just meet me in food corner near your boarding house. I’m gonna catch you here, kid.

I said : What? Where are you? Near my boarding house? Oh, okay I’ll be there soon.

15 minutes later. At the food corner.

Me : What the hell are you doing here, Dad? You’re not even good enough to driving alone here.

Dad : Just sit down and order some foods. You must be very hungry, kid.

Me : Oh gosh.

And maybe that was the best part of this coldness. Our coldness. I mean when suddenly my Dad took me by surprise and made me though that he still cared at me anyway. Even though in a little bit.  
And He Coming Anyway

And, maybe this is works. All we need is good communication and a little bit understanding. Yah, the most expensive thing in the world currently is understanding. Then I came to my boarding house and took a rest for a while. There was a point when I got sad about him. Why these things happen to us, Dad? And would it be get better in time? It’s been 7 years we live like we’re stranger and even when we were together home.

30 minutes after forward he said that he would going home. And, he left some money for me. Not so much, but it’s enough for me.

Dad : Just be good, kid. I’m leaving.

Me  : I will. But, next time don’t do this again, Dad. You should not driving alone.  

You know guys, during this week I felt like I’m gonna dying day by day. But, that’s life anyway. In fact, I’m not dying. I should take my part of soul together anymore. Make it perfect puzzle so that I could really see what actually God mean to me.  

Regards,
Rosalie.


Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Merry Go Round

Sudah aku mundurkan seluruh pasukanku. Karena aku tidak mampu menembus perasaan itu. Sangat kuat seperti medan magnet. Bedanya, ia tak mengenal kutub. Aku kembali menyeruput kopi hitamku yang mulai hambar. Udara dingin di kota kembang membuat uap-uap kopi itu mengudara hingga ke angkasa kemudian hilang. Dan untuk kesekian kalinya. Aku kembali. Ke sebuah ide dimana aku dulu pernah sedikit bermakna. Merry go round. Aku tidak begitu suka ide tentang berada beberapa kaki di atas tanah. Acrophobia. Yah, aku takut ketinggian. Karena itu aku benci menaikki bianglala. Tetapi, beberapa temanku selalu memaksaku untuk melakukannya. Alih-alih untuk menyembuhkan traumaku akan ketinggian, justru berujung pada muntah di lantai besi bianglala dan menjadi sasaran empuk mereka untuk tertawa. Menertawakanku lebih tepatnya. Sialan. Sejak saat itu, aku tidak tertarik dengan ketinggian dan segala percobaan bodoh yang berhubungan dengan elevasi. Dengan gagasan tentang menjadi burung atau sej...

Pulang

Old House Pulang. Apakah pulang akan menjadi ritual yang begitu mengerikan? Jika tidak, mengapa selama setahun yang lalu aku tidak pernah membenamkan tubuhku pada hangatnya kamarku sendiri atau sekedar merasakan dinginnya lantai di tempat itu. Tempat   yang orang lain bilang rumahku.  Ada luka yang harus aku sembuhkan setiap kali kaki kurus ini mulai melangkah ke pelatarannya yang luas. Minimal beberapa mili air mata akan jatuh dan bercumbu dengan tanah halaman yang gersang itu. Tanah yang merindukan hujan di bulan desember.  Air mata itu akan menjelma keindahan seperti air terjun Niagara di kala senja. Bedanya di rumah itu tidak ada pelangi. Tidak ada terang setelah gelap. Tidak ada kata maaf setelah caci maki. Tidak ada peluk setelah tampar.   Pulang. Seperti enyah dalam angan-anganku yang pendek. Terlalu pendek untuk bisa bertahan diantara sekat-sekat formalnya. Entah, siapa yang membuatnya menjadi beku. Layaknya harapan kosong yang selamanya h...

Dear Diary

Dear Diary, Dad, you make it harder actually. You push me away, now you’re gonna pull me back to that time. I can’t even imagine how we’ll be when we still stay together. Cause, one thing I know for sure about you, that you never really care to us. To me. What’s wrong with you during this time, Dad? You’ve been changing to be someone I can’t recognize. We can’t stand this fight anymore. And I think this fight is pointless. Again, I’m too tired to make it better than it used to be.  I was alone. All the time. Can you imagine how my life running without Mom, and them? Can you imagine that I’ve been hurting for six years. Was it all never enough? I’m dying inside. But, everytime I go to my own funeral, I stand there so tall with these tears falling from my eyes. I don’t even have someone beside me.  Dear Dad Then, I always find the way to make it all alone. To make it dark and senseless. Are we not supposed to be happy? That was the question from sister two d...