Between
the bars. Evening Glance.
Pertama masuk bar baru itu, aku merasa ‘familiar’.
Konsep, ornamen, dekorasi, bahkan pemilihan merk tempat duduk dan segala tata
letak perabotnya. Its feel so homy. Kemudian
aku menemukan sesosok manusia dari masa lampau yang entah karena alasan apa
tiba-tiba menginginkan kehadiranku ke bar baru itu.
Josh : So, long time not se, Rose! How’s life? What
about your city of lights? (pria itu tersenyum menggodaku sambil tersenyum
licik sedangkan aku buru-buru melemparkan majalah Runway ke arahnya)
Me : Well, my city of lights were still full of
lights, Josh. Maybe. Okay, berhenti menggodaku. So, tell me what’s your point to drag your ex girlfriend here. This
place sick me off so much. (Mukaku kusut).
Josh : Wow!!! Easy, girl. Aahahahhahaha ah
akhirnya aku masih kau akui sebagai your
‘ex-boyfriend’ then.
Me :
Sialan.
Josh : Well, this is my place at the moment,
Rose. Aku dan kakakku yang mendesainnya. Dua bulan yang lalu. So, karena studiku sudah selesai aku
memutuskan untuk kembali ke sini. Dan, siapa tahu aku bisa berkencan kembali
dengan bidadariku.
Me :
Najis, Josh!!! Hey, wait. You said your
brother, I mean Rai here too? And, congratulation!!! This is your dream.
(Aku tersenyum).
Josh : Iya,
Rai juga tinggal di sini. Tapi saat ini dia sedang membersihkan sisa
kekacauannya di negeri seberang.
Me : No no no no, Rai pasti membersihkan sisa
kekacauanmu. I really know you, boy!!! (Kami
berdua tertawa).
Josh : I really love this city, Rose. You know,
Sidney may great. But here is miracle for me.
Me : Welcome home!! And, don’t forget to tell me
when Rai come back.
Josh : Sure, Miss. May I? (Josh memberiku two shots of Merlot, my
favourite wine anyway)
Me : I really glad you here. So, tell me about
your girl, I mean your girl at the moment.
Josh : There’s nothing to tell about, Rose. Maybe.
. .
Me : Wait, don’t tell me kalau semuanya tidak
berjalan mulus. Come on, kamu jagonya
masalah beginian. Just show me that
you’re still Josh Atventa.
Josh : No, no, it’s not something like that. It was
just . . . not working.
Me : Okay, this girl must be special. Get the
point. And now excuse me ‘cause I have to meet someone.
Josh : Your boy?
Me : Just somebody that I used to know. He asked
me for help.
Josh : Wow!!! Just be careful, Rosalie Way. His charm
might makes you crashed. Again.
Me : You shut up. I’ll come back here. We’re not
done yet. (Aku mengacungkan tangan ke arahnya, tanda ancaman).
Josh :
Ahahahhahahahaha look then, siapa
yang tertarik kepada siapa sekarang.
Me : Damn it, Josh.
Two hours
after later. Evening Glance.
Josh, pria dari masa lalu itu masih duduk di
tempat yang sama. Sama persis seperti saat aku meninggalkannya untuk bertemu
seseorang tadi. Masih di meja yang menghadap ke jendela langsung. Spot favoritnya
dari dulu. I know it.
Josh : Wow, my girl already here.
Me : (Tersenyum
tumpul sambil menyeret sebuah bangku mendekat ke arah jendela)
Josh : So, how? Sukses acara ‘persatuan kembali
tali yang putus’-nya? (Pria itu terkekeh).
Me : (Aku
hanya tersenyum, sembari memainkan kunci mobil yang dari tadi aku genggam. Kalut.)
Josh : Just tell me, ada apa anak muda?
Me : Hmm, I don’t know Josh. Rasanya aneh. Bertemu
dengan seseorang yang in technically has
been hurting you.
Josh : Okay, the way you said ‘has been hurting’,
so semua itu masih terjadi sampai saat ini. Dia menyakitimu.
 |
| The Other Glass |
Me : I don’t know. I just could not be nice to
him. I was in anger. I was in pain. Maybe. Who knows? (Josh menuangkan Merlot ke gelas wine-ku).
Josh : Do you feel exactly the same way to him when
you’re with me? I mean the way you act or the way you talk maybe describe
something. For example, you hate me.
Me : Hey, its different. We broke up because our
distance, remember? No, no, I still feel comfort with you. As a friend, as a
brother, as everything but couple stuff. We’re done, Josh. And for me, what’s
done is done.
Josh : I know it. Let me guess. Kamu masih
berpegang teguh pada prinsipmu yang dulu. Dan, honestly aku salut. Kamu masih sekuat and sesetia dulu dengan
segala prinsip hidupmu.
Me : Begitulah.
Josh : So, kamu belum bisa melupakan dia? Okay, mungkin kamu benci. But, that’s the sign that you still have something
for him, Rose. Am I right?
Me : No, hmm yes. Maybe. Its feel like. . . aku sedang berperang dengan sisi lainku. Mungkin,
ada belahan jiwaku yang entah di sebelah mana, masih menginginkan kehadirannya.
Tapi, diriku yang lain berkata jangan.
Josh : So, kamu cenderung yang mana?
Me : Absolutely no, Josh. You know me for more than
seven years. Aku tidak akan mengorbankan akal sehatku untuk hal yang
sifatnya sementara. Fantasi tentang ‘beautiful
sense’ or whatever is it. Okay maybe he’s great in ways, but aku tidak akan
mempertaruhkan kepercayaanku untuk orang yang sama dua kali.
Josh : So, you seem like you don’t give him another
try. You know, maybe there’s second chance for him. (Josh mengerutkan kening).
Me : Okay, listen! I do believe in second chance
but I don’t believe that everyone deserve it.
Josh : Waooooow. You still stay smart. Proud of you.
Me : It’s not only about the broken heart itself,
but it’s also about trust. I do not trust him. No more.
Josh : So, just move, little girl. Move on!!
Me : Move on gak harus dengan cari pasangan
lain, kan?
Josh : But, it will you help for sure, Rose. Just try
it!
Me : If the ‘try’ you said mean an experiment, I don’t
wanna do stupid experiment when it comes to heart. Just take it or leave it,
there’s nothing in between.
Josh : Then, you will be dead alone, sweetheart.
Me : Let’s take it this way, Josh. Mungkin kamu
benar, kehadiran orang baru akan membantu mengalihkan fokus kita dari let’s say somebody that we used to know.
Tapi, coba pikir lagi sampai kapan siklus itu berhenti? Kita bakalan tetep ketergantungan
sama orang lain, Josh. And, aku sedang berusaha memustuskan rantai itu. Mungkin
bagi beberapa orang aku terlihat sinting. Terlalu drama atau apalah istilahnya
anak muda jaman sekarang, but I don’t
give a fuck with their opinion. I don’t care. All I wanna do just to save my
heart. And the only one who can do that is just myself.
Josh : But, you need someone who makes you happy,
right?
Me : I may with someone who makes me happy, but I
don’t want if my happiness depends on others. That’s it. The key is myself,
Josh. And I don’t want to fall to stupid statement about being single is being
lone wolf or whatever is that. Like I said, I-don’t-give-a-fuck!!
Josh :
(Meneguk sisa wine-nya dan tersenyum untuk waktu yang sangat lama). It’s seem crazy. Indeed. But, its not
totally crazy, Rose. You do the right way. It’s salvage. For your heart. For your
soul. I think that Rai should learn something from you. (Josh tersenyum
sembari melambaikan tangan, seperti sedang menyapa seseorang).
Me : Oh my God. That’s Rai.
Begitulah pertemuanku sore itu. Bersama Josh, mantan
sekaligus teman lelaki terbaikku hingga saat ini. Bersama seseorang yang
seharusnya sudah aku hapus dari playlist-ku sejak dahulu, sebut saja somebody that I used to know. Kemudian,
Rai. Complete with his super electrical
smile.
Bagiku, yang berlalu akan berlalu dan memang harus
berlalu. Gelas itu harus dikosongkan. Karena jika masih ada sedikit saja sisa
dari wine yang lain, rasa wine yang baru tidak akan pernah bisa menggantikan
yang lama.
Rosalie Way.
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